Christians are straight up FREAKS
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
