i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
