do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
