She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
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Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
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I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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