u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
