White coat. Heels.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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