when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
