I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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