he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
