I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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