Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
