If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She even gives head with a lisp.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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