THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
