This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
