im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
