belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
