Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
