so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
