Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
