I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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