who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
