She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
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I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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