Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
