...so i touched it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
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