I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He? As in you personified your dick?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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