This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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