His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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