What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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