Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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