Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Blood and glitter go together right?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
