Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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