Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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