he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
