Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
