gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My dick has a subreddit
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
