I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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