her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
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He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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