I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm jealous of your bromance
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
3 2 1 whiskey
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
