he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
