It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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