We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
