try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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