After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
