So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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