my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
