I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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