Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
