it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
They are going to name an STD after you.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
