Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
