Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
