What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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