apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
