you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
