I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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