She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
