I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize