Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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