I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She's like a pop up book from hell.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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