You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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