There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You are a genius and a whore.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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