just tell him i said nine months
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
