did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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