mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
